I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm always down for nudity.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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