I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
