he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
