I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
