Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
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I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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