dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
