i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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