Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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