I could make wine with my vomit
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
