I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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