yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
