So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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