the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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