it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
How many fucks given?
0.12846
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
