Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
