She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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