I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
