is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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