Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
