I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
