I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM