Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.