he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.