Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.