I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
