Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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