You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
