i would one night stand the shit outta him
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
