Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
