R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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