She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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