I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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