Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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