The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
