My nipple is on Facebook.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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