Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
