I wish i was in the wii world.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize