walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize