he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
