Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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