ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
