she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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