I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
