I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
