Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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