absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
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he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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