You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
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