yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
