I want to have your abortion
one might say we're banned from that church
I think im going to throw up on grandma
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
