I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
