Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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