Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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