i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
