Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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