your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
