the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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