8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize