I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
They took my balls.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
