you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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