How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
