What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
