mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
