are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
