I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
they need to just BURY HIM!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I deserve this hangover.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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