So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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