I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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