We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
