I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
