I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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