a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
