he puts the penis in happiness.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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