If i could tip my vagina, i would.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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