We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
