But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
