her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
